


Capturing the Castle in the Air

by morphogenesis



Category: Nabari no Ou
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-20
Updated: 2011-08-20
Packaged: 2017-11-07 11:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morphogenesis/pseuds/morphogenesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unconnected collection of Raikou/Gau drabbles, written for an exercise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Capturing the Castle in the Air

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote these August 2011, right before I left for college. Posting them all together because making it multiple parts didn't make sense when I have no intention of continuing these. The fourth drabble is split into three little scenes/parts, not three separate drabbles.

**1\. They Say There Are Three Doors You Can Go Through**

Anyone who knew Gau Meguro before this could tell you that he'd never be content living in the mountains with no clear-cut future, no beginning or no end but the binding goal of watching over the two worlds from the mountain peak. Gau liked beginnings, middles, and ends, and he liked them to go in order. He liked to know what happened next, always.

And a year ago, Gau would have agreed with them.

But change happens whether you notice it or not. It can be as easy as a leaf falling to the ground or a sword cleaving through your chest, but it happens.

Or rather, a not-quite-man happened, aura tinged with pink and blood and, perhaps, sadness, and he was enchanting despite the gloom he tried to cover up that surrounded him in a light fog, and Gau followed him because he was younger still and didn't have anywhere else to go, and in that moment, that was enough to change his life for.

He didn't know what was going to happen next, save that maybe he would get out of the cold or maybe this man would kill him as soon as they got further away, but he still took the chance, and he spent every moment after that making it the right choice.

 

\---

 

**2\. I Want The One That Leads To You**

When they're lying together, Raikou tries not to look at Gau's chest. He already knows what he'll find and how it got there, and he deserves the guilt, surely, but he doesn't deserve a daily reminder of it, does he?

Fortunately, Gau doesn't like to show it either, whether out of respect for Raikou or his own embarrassment, and so he rarely removes his shirt at night. It lays there, puckered and white and stretched from shoulder to hip; the elephant in their shared room.

One night, though, it gets too hot and stifling and they both wind up laying there shirtless and staring at the ceiling. Maybe it's the heat or the stuffiness or the fact that he knows Raikou is just as awake as he is, but Gau gets antsy. His hand inches over and he brushes along the curve of Raikou's neck. Raikou turns his head.

"Gau?" he says, though his tone conveys he already knows why Gau is calling on him.

Gau rolls over, lifts himself, and drapes his body over Raikou's chest. He kisses that same neck, and moves down his chest until he reaches the center and his lips graze rough, raised flesh where flesh shouldn't be raised. A scar.

It's the stab wound from Shijima; how could Gau forget? It's only a souvenir of a time when all he could do was watch as Raikou crumpled to the concrete, blood seeping out from around the edges of Shirogamon buried in his chest, and Gau's world nearly fell apart again.

It was years ago, but it isn't something he likes to relive.

"S-Sorry," he mumbles, and moves back up quickly to a mouth that bites his bottom lip as they meet again.

"Shh," Raikou says firmly, and then proceeds to take charge, flipping them over so that he's on top, like he always does.

Underneath him, Gau briefly loops his arms around Raikou's neck and pulls him closer, until their chests brush and their scars match up briefly.

Suddenly, it's oddly comforting to realize that they match. Maybe he'll share this with Raikou after, and Raikou will laugh and finally stop resenting himself for something Gau's long since forgiven him for.

Raikou's nails dig into the flesh of his back and Gau moans.

…Or maybe he'll remember it a few days later.

 

\--- 

 

**3\. Living Just as Free as My Hair**

Raikou had never asked Gau to help dye his hair before, and while Gau was honored, he also had to ask one last time:

"Are you sure this isn't against decorum?" Dyeing one's hair every color of the rainbow and rummaging thrift stores didn't seem like something Kairoshuu would endorse its members doing.

"If it was, Yukimi-senpai would have said something to me by now," Raikou said with an air that suggested he wouldn't have listened even if he'd been reprimanded for it. "Here, help me make sure it's spread evenly throughout."

Gau's hands worked as quick and efficient as ever, and soon the job was done. All they could do now was wait fifteen minutes until they could go on. He wondered how Raikou would look with pink hair, and if it would be better than the mint green, cherry red, and candyfloss blue that had all come before it. Pink was so unnatural, and seemed a ludicrous choice for a samurai. But, Raikou always did what he wanted, and maybe that confidence was why he looked so good in everything.

Raikou sat on the edge of their tub, fingers drumming against the tile in an unusual tic. He seemed a bit lighter, even moreso than usual, and for a moment Gau thought he could even catch him humming something.

"Do you think you'll like it, Raikou-san?"

"Of course. Anything is better than my natural hair." He paused, scrutinizing Gau for a second before he spoke again: "Actually, we should dye yours too -"

Gau held up both hands and said, "No," almost too quickly.

Raikou laughed, revealing white teeth and an actual having-fun smile, and then Gau was too distracted to protest the subject further. Fortunately, the timer rang, signaling it was time to rinse out the dye.

"Here, bend over, I'll rinse - not bend over backwards, Raikou-san! You'll hurt your back!"

Ten minutes later, Raikou finally stood up and studied their work in the mirror. His hair was freshly dyed all-over pink, and dark because it was wet. A few minutes with the hair-dryer fixed that, revealing the light shade that Raikou had chosen this time to cover up the blond. He tilted his head at his reflection, then pulled some of his hair back in a style to try it out and posed. He repeated this for a bit, while Gau watched.

Well, now Gau knew why Raikou always took longer in the bathroom than he did. Not that he was going to say that out loud - it did look very good, after all...

He watched with a smile on his face as Raikou continued to play with his new hair. Very good indeed.

"Excellent," Raikou said, letting his hair fall back into place and turning to Gau. "Thank you, Gau. You've been a big help."

"You're welcome, Raikou-san," Gau said, so caught up in Raikou's praise of him that he rubbed the back of his neck, then his cheek, with his dye-stained fingers, leaving dark pink streaks. He blinked in confusion when Raikou laughed at him again.

"I still think you'd make an excellent blond, Gau."

"A-Another day, Raikou-san! We still need to clean up the bathroom from doing your hair!"

Raikou surveyed the bathroom - wet towel hanging off the edge of the tub, dye stains in the tub basin, combs and other instruments scattered about - like he was seeing it for the first time. "Oh, yeah... But I still need to style my hair, and after that -"

"Never mind! I can do it, Raikou-san!"

"Are you sure? It's a lot to clean up..."

"Of course! If you can't count on me for even this, what good am I to you?"

Raikou smiled. "Okay, Gau, you can clean up."

"Thank you, Raikou-san!"

 

\---

 

**4\. The Floating of Lanterns**

_i._

Obon arrives and Gau doesn't know where the time went. There's no room for an altar in his and Raikou's apartment, and even if there was, Gau has nothing to offer his mother. He doesn't even know if he can make the trip to her grave this year, because summer always turns their schedule into a clogged artery with no room for downtime. His hands are empty, his heart is sick, and his head is fuzzy from confusion and the heat that swirls around and around in their tiny, still home.

He tries not to let it affect his work, but Raikou notices.

"Do you miss your mother?" Raikou's voice is quiet and cautious. The answer is obvious but Raikou is always careful never to put words in anyone's mouth.

"Very much," Gau says even though there are no words meaningful enough to describe the persistent ache of her absence.

Raikou makes a curious face and leaves the room.

An hour later, Raikou is dragging him by the arm onto a train, which arrives just in time for them to catch a connecting one to a station in the countryside. A countryside that Gau recognizes immediately, and he knows that they're only twenty minutes away from where his mother and grandparents are buried.

He looks at Raikou incredulously, and Raikou simply turns his head and stares at a potted plant like it's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.

He remembered. He came with Gau on this trip two summers ago, and he remembered the route enough to be able to bring Gau here when he needed it.

Gau bursts with joy every step of the way to the graveyard; as he cleans first his mother's grave, then his grandparents (who were gone before he could ever really know them).

_Did you send Raikou-san to look after me, Mother?_ he asks her spirit when he prays.

_ii._

As far as Gau can tell, Raikou doesn't practice any Obon customs. Before he knew why, Gau thought it was because he'd been orphaned for most of his life and hadn't known them, or where they were buried.

After Raikou tells him his history, Gau realizes his mistake and is almost swept away by the overwhelming pity he feels.

Raikou doesn't say anything, but the answer is obvious.

He believes that he isn't allowed to miss them, because he's the one who took them away.

_iii._

Next Obon, Raikou stands before the family shrine that stands in the woods behind where the old clan compound was and can hardly lift his tongue to the roof of his mouth for the weight of the guilt pressing on it.

The shrine stares back, emblazoned with the name of every Shimizu Clan member who died because of him. For a moment, he swears he can feel their eyes.

He opens his mouth. Closes it. Tries to think of something, anything, to say in case someone is listening.

Raimei has been here, because everything is clean and polished. Gau, too, because someone has brought and lit the incense that Raimei forgot when she left this morning.

What did Raikou bring?

He closes his eyes, thinks _I'm sorry_ , and waits, half-expecting to feel the nails of angry ghosts tearing at his skin.

They never come, and he leaves without even saying goodbye or that he misses anyone.

When he comes back inside, Gau is making tea and acts like he doesn't know where Raikou just was, and Raikou appreciates him even more for it.

If he is jealous of Gau for anything, it's the fact that Gau can be honest with himself. That Gau is not afraid of his own heart.


End file.
